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MAY 1 VHS MOVIE REVIEW : VIRTUOSITY
From cyberpunkreview.com
Overview: Overview: Sometimes we find movies are able to rise above truly absurd stories and transform movies that had no business being watchable into something enjoyable. This is what we find with Virtuosity. Virtuosity has a story with is barely bothers to try to hold together, but yields memorable performances by all the major leads. The pacing is at least fast enough that its possible that some unsuspecting viewers might not notice some of the absurdities presented.
The Story: In the near future, Crowe plays SID 6.7, a virtual reality (VR) composite of 200 personalities, each and every one a killer. His purpose is to serve as the key bad guy in a new police officer training simulation. To test the simulation the corporation uses former cops – now criminals – to test the hyper-real VR training system. Former Lt. Parker Barnes, convicted for killing a mass murderer (and some bystanders) who murdered his family is one of the lucky ginea pigs. After entering the simulation, all is not as is seems, as SID 6.7, who has grown sentient, has modified the safety controls to allow him to actually kill the test subjects. Barnes’ partner is killed and Barnes barely escapes the Simulation.
After the corporation decides to shut the project down, Dr. Lindenmeyer (played by Stephen Spinella), SID 6.7’s creator finds a way to save SID 6.7. It just so happens that another scientist in the corporation has just completed a nano-android – the first of its kind – and is now wondering how to embed it with sentience (yes, they really expect us to buy this – companies always have magical projects just hanging around that anyone can get access to!). Lindenmeyer tricks the scientist into uploading Crowe’s program into the nano-droid, which serves to free SID 6.7 from his simulated cage.
It turns out that one of SID 6.7’s “dominant” personalities which he has been created by is none other than the murderer of Parker’s family. Parker is offered a pardon if he can capture or kill SID 6.7. Parker is joined by Dr. Madison Carter (Kelly Lynch), an expert on serial killers. From this point on, we get a police-serial killer chase movie with a good bit of cool nano-droid restoration visuals. The rationale for why the police can’t stop SID 6.7, or why Dr. Carter must join parker are both pretty weak. More interesting is the fact that the police never seem to bother showing up when SID 6.7 decides to kill people in front of massive crowds. But such is life – again, at least the leads all play this far more believable than this film has a write to be.
The Bottom Line: The VR visuals are decent, the acting is very good, but the story really doesn’t hold together. The worse part of the story is that the the nano-droid and VR sentience are essentially posed as magic. We get no explanation from the key cyberpunk aspects of this, such as how 200 real-life personalities from dead serial killers are embedded in a VR simulation, nor are we are given an explanation for how this incredible nano-droid is developed, or could be developed while not having a purpose. Still, Russell Crowe as a very memorable crazed villain and Denzel Washington both put in great performances, and are very well supported by Kelly Lynch, William Forsythe (a crusty police chief and Parker’s former boss) and William Fichtner (who plays a creepy corporate type). In short, they make the movie worth watching.
MAY 1 VHS MOVIE REVIEW : DEATH SPA (1987)
Just why are people dying graphically at the Starbody Health Spa? Who or what is controlling the computer operated exercise equipment so that a man's ribcage is torn apart while using a butterfly machine? Why would anyone want to put chlorine gas in the steam room? And why are the tiles flying off the walls in the women's shower room? Could it be the spa's owner's (William Bumiller, star of Andy Sidaris' GUNS and DO OR DIE) or the ex-brother in law (the late Merritt Butrick, who was Kirk's son in STAR TREK 2 & 3), who designed the spa's unique computer system? Could it be the owners of a rival spa looking to put Bumiller out of business? Or could it be Bumiller's dead wife (and Butrick's twin sister, who doused herself with gasoline and set herself aflame when she became a cripple after a miscarriage) come back to life to make things miserable for her hubby and his new girlfriend? If you answered yes to the last three questions, you were correct, as they are all involved somewhat in the dastardly doings. While low on originality, it is pretty high in depicting gory mayhem and beautiful women's naked hardbodies. There are impalements, acid burnings, pool mishaps, a particularly nasty mirror explosion/beheading and a CARRIE - inspired finale. It was also a pleasure to see nice looking girls in various states of undress since low budget films like this normally showcase the bodies of out-of-shape, cellulite-ridden ugly females who would do anything (and usually do) to get their mugs and jugs on screen. Director Michael Fischa also made the terrible, laugh-an-hour comedy MY MOM'S A WEREWOLF as well as the urban exploitationer CRACK HOUSE. Co-star Ken Foree can also be seen in George Romero's DAWN OF THE DEAD and Stuart Gordon's FROM BEYOND, two films which are recommended viewing for all horror fans. Rosiland Cash also starred in THE OMEGA MAN and DR. BLACK MR. HYDE (aka THE WATTS MONSTER). On the gore and flesh quotient alone, DEATH SPA (also known as WITCH BITCH) is a mildly diverting experience in fleshtones and blood. An MPI Home Video Release. Unrated. { text from critcononline.com }
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